I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Randomize
