some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
you would pick up someone in the library
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize