3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
