tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
