Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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