I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
