I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
