Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Randomize
