is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
