Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize