i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
look no pants
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
