Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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