I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
