this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
