So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
