How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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