You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
