Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
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