You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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