just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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