He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
