Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize