I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
