found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize