Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
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