But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
