he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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