another moral hangover. fuck.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
