Umm I'm too high to move.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Randomize
