You don't have asthma, your pregnant
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
