she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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