Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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