i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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