yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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