so explain again why im purple
no
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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