oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
