so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
