That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
