but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
