Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
did i walk over a car last night?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
