we have officially lost it.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
