your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
