i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
