I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
he wants to bone in the snuggie
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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