VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
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