hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
