it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
