"it" just moved
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
