We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
