I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
