Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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