hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
