ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
