His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
