I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Let's get the cat blown out
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
