Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
