Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
OPIZZABONMYDICK
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
