I like to think it a success when the cops are called
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
He told me they were just razor bumps!
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize