My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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