We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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