I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Randomize
