I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Damn victory sex feels great
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
