btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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