who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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