Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
