By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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