Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
you had me at cake vodka
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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