i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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