Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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