I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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