I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I deserve this hangover.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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