who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
