So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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