We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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