Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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